Maternal Mental Health Month Day 25

My dear childless self…

Dear childless self,

Enjoy sleeping randomly during the day and night, by choice. Enjoy being spontaneous. Enjoy peeing in privacy. Enjoy eating hot meals. Enjoy getting to give the absolutely adorable baby back to it’s mother. 

Dear childless self,

Be kind to the mothers in your life. Not just your own mother but your grandmothers and aunts, your cousins and friends who have children, the teachers and babysitters who care for children everyday.  See them as women outside of being mothers. Know that they have personalities and flaws, and wonderful things about them. 

Dear childless self,

Not everything is the mom’s fault!  Hold the judgmental glances, the eye rolls and the loud sighs.  Differentiate between an inattentive parent allowing their child to be disruptive or destructive and an exhausted, exasperated mom just trying to get through a grocery shopping trip.  Lend support or kindness rather than reinforcing their already ingrained self-judgment, blame and embarrassment. (These feelings are often caused by internalizing all the judgments she made about moms before she had children.)  Know that mothers are often doing the best they can and trying to be everything to everyone.  There are no exact directions to mothering. 

Dear childless self,

Dream of your future. Your future life…family…children. Dream of all the fun and creative things you will do. Dream of all the trips you will take. Dream of the kind of mom you will be. And then know, there are so many unknowns in motherhood. Expect your dreams to change. Expect to need to be flexible. Expect some disappointments and some wonderful surprises. 

Love,

Me with kids

 

PS.  To me with kids…give your former self a break (she didn’t know)!  

About Carpe Diem Counseling LLC

I am a licensed clinical social worker whose practice specializes in working with women (and their families) during the pregnancy and postpartum time period. Please contact me if you believe you or someone in your life is experiencing a Perinatal or Postpartum mental health issue. I also work with any adults experiencing a life change and struggling with the challenges and adjustments they are encountering. Addressing our struggles in life happens one day at a time. There is no wrong time to get help.
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